Every Bhakt should now say 'Namo Namah', because our God 'Namo' has arrived!

There is a new species of humans that has cropped up recently, namely the Namo Bhakts. Strange as it may sound, Namo is not any god, but only a Chief Minister of a state that has done fairly well in the last decade. While they call themselves bhakts, it is important to know the reason behind this new faith.

In a country named India, there was a small state called Gujarat. Even though India had some really bright people in it, it was a victim of infighting between different states, intolerance towards each other's rights and lots more. But the reality was that all the states had been ruined not by the people, but the kings chosen by the people. One day, a person named Namo was chosen as the king of Gujarat. While the other states were fighting against each other, Gujarat decided to instigate the majority section of the society against the minority, thereby mercilessly killing a lot of them. The king, Namo, refused to take responsibility for failing to protect the people in his state, well maybe because he did not have the 'will' to protect the minority. Everyone blamed the king since he was the supreme power and the state was owned by him. Yet, he refused to accept it. Some years later, Gujarat started developing itself and since the other states were still horribly bad, Gujarat seemed to be a lot better, even though it really wasn't. This made some people feel that 'Namo' was the solution to India's problems, and well it really did seem true because India really did not have any other option.

And so was born a new species in India named the 'Namo' Bhakts.

The 'Namo Bhakts' decided to propogate the intelligent messages of their leader, but sadly they did not know what the messages were. Their leader presented India with unverified facts which the bhakts could not understand but their 'bhakti' blinded them.

The majority section of India, which was the majority section in Gujarat as well during the time of killings, hailed this leader. But to take control of India, Namo knew he had to get the support of the minorities as well. And so he wore the mask of the minority.

But the Namo bhakts knew that this mask was just a move to take control of India, and so they never worried about it. The other people who were skeptical about Namo but supported his development initiatives hoped that Namo would someday change himself so that he can live without the mask, for they had no other option but to support the only leader in India.

The Namo bhakts decided to break free. They spread themselves everywhere- on roads, in offices and on a virtual world called facebook.
The Bhakts spoke without any reason and often abused anyone who was against their ideology.

They did not know about the achievements of Namo in Gujarat, yet they praised Gujarat. Spreading fake messages had been embedded in their genes.

They did not understand that India was conceived as a secular state (in fact they did not understand the meaning of the world secular!) and therefore saw Namo as a savior of the Majority Community.

The Bhakts decided to be on the same path as the one Namo had taken 11 years ago. They just did not want to tolerate any other community.

Direct and Indirect attacks became a habit for such bhakts.

They often argued without any reason and defamed anyone who stood against their leader. They started spitting venom on facebook against the minority community and hailed their leader as their god.

They started chanting verses from the 'Namo Chalisa'. They mumbled 'Namo Namah' a million times a day which fed the arrogance of their leader. When their leader misled them, they happily followed.

When an aged person named 'Hazare' wanted a strong institution to stop corruption in India, Namo went invisible. And when 'Hazare' agreed to have a weak institution, the Namo Bhakts and the leaders around Namo took credit for something that was only a disgrace to the nation. Yes Namo Bhakts, you are illiterates who will never understand what the old man wanted, and what your leader agreed to.
This was the same old man whom Namo had never supported.
Infact, Namo had in his own Gujarat killed what the old man had asked for, the Lokayukta. The Bhakts were too blind to understand.

But a few states away in 'Dehli', a new force, which was formed after a split with Hazare, was rising. It was being seen as a roadblock in Namo's path of being the ruler of India. And so, the Bhakts started abusing this new force.
The Bhakts challenged the new force to become the king, branded him as a partner of the opposition and abused him whenever possible. The supporters of the new force decided to stay calm and accept the challenge. The new force had risen, a force much more nationalist than Namo, a force that did not want to divide India on the basis of religion, a force whose supporters were much more dignified in their demeanor and asked their leader to prove his actions. The Bhakts could not digest this new selfless force, for they had always been selfish, blind and uneducated.

The bhakts had double standards. When this new force was formed, they cried and screamed that 'Hazare' had been betrayed by these people. What they did not see was that their own leader, Namo, had risen against the wishes of his supreme. They were paralyzed when confronted by the same questions.

When criminals shared the stage with Namo, the Bhakts were elated. They did not care if the subordinates of Namo were honest and clean. They were happy being ruled by criminals as questioning the integrity of their leaders was against their principles.

Namo was known for his huge 'stage shows' to display his power. The Bhakts were amazed at this wasteful expenditure of the money that itself was earned illegally. Illegal money being spent on illogical 'hunkaar rallies', no bhakt ever asked for transparency.

The stage for Namo's rally in Trichy. Namo bhakt's would never question the source of such income.

Namo then decided to 'spend' money, not on making the lives of the people better, but on something strange- a statue of a great leader who had very rarely been mentioned in history for his efforts towards uniting India. While nobody could ever argue against his intentions to honor this great man, the plan of making the tallest statue was absurd, because in India, a lot of people did not have access to even hygienic food, clean water, quality education and health. Namo bhakts said the statue would bring revenue, but simple mathematics showed that the statue would take years to recover it's cost. Where was the revenue?

But, 'Namo Namah' was an answer for all these questions, for they had never asked questions to their leader.

When India asked all the rulers to be transparent and bring themselves under something called the RTI, Namo again disappeared for he was too scared to talk. The Bhakts were satisfied with the silence.

The Namo Bhakts never visited Gujarat, but believed it to be heaven. Well, it surely was not heaven. They never asked for proof, for they were paralyzed in this blind faith, for they did not realize that in 15 years, any place could be turned into heaven, while Gujarat was still decades away from being heaven.

"LOOK AT THE CLEAN BLUE WATER OF SABARMATI RIVER"

MODI AT THE "CLEAN BLUE WATER" OF SABARMATI RIVERFRONT

The Bhakts never understood that while Namo was not inefficient, the others around Namo had proven themselves to be the real destructors of India in the past. Some people belonging to Namo's own establishment (Yeddurappa, Arjun Munda) had been involved in huge crimes.

They thought that Namo would also attack their neighbor called Pakistan and finish it off just like his predecessors claimed, forgetting that the predecessors of Namo had in fact fallen prey to the same neighbor when the Kargil war was started. But nobody could argue that Namo was the answer to this neighbor, for India was used to weak leadership, and any act of aggression was considered bravery.

But what India was not realizing was that they were paving the path for a pseudo-secular state once again. The mask could never be taken off, for it would mean betrayal to the 'Namo Bhakts'. The army of Namo Bhakts will keep growing exponentially, for they have ceased to think before following and questioning before believing.
The Bhakts are bound to cause irreparable damage if the the veil is not lifted soon from their eyes, for they have been blinded by this veil. Their faith in their leader is only making them look like a herd of sheep, following because they are already directionless. The blinders around their eyes have been intentionally placed because the truth is dangerous and can not be revealed. They have been brainwashed and no logical argument works against them.

Yes, their is no fault in following a leader and questioning his intentions. Being a Namo supporter is no crime, but being a blind bhakt is. Make sure you choose the former and stay away from the latter because India has already suffered a lot because of the 'kings' we make and choose.

How to identify a Namo Bhakt? Just go to the comments section of this post and you will find many- abusing, criticizing, shouting, screaming, irritated, blinded and what not. ;)

How to identify one on facebook? Just look for such fanatic links on the profile:

The real Agnee Pariksha- Principles vs Dreams of the common man

The stage is set. No one had ever predicted that such a drama would unfold after the Delhi elections, yes Drama because some of the news channels and political parties think it really is "drama". And yes, like always, it is AAP which is the reason for this drama. It is good infact, people now have a party to put all the blame on. But is it possible to not get carried away by media reports and for once think what exactly is AAP trying to achieve here? The common Indian citizens are not used to such absurd politics, they are more comfortable with poor governance, fight to be the CM, fight to get in power, unstable coalitions, passing the buck after the failure of government etc etc. Where and why did this issue-based politics enter India?! No, please AAP, do not change us, change yourself, your ideology does not suit us Indians.

Agni Pariksha. Probably that is how I would describe the current situation. On one side, they will get the power to fulfill their promises, something AAP has been accused of running away from. On the other side, their ideology which they do not want to compromise, that too at the very first step of their political journey. Whatever they have faced till now is nowhere close to the current dilemma, because clearly, it is a war between principles and dreams, not just theirs, but of the people. As someone rightly said, AAP has become a prisoner of it's own principles. Before proceeding, please stop watching Aajtak, Zee News and all the biased channels while you read this.

Is the support from Congress really worth considering? Or is Congress luring AAP into it's web of corruption and inefficiency? Or is Congress using AAP as a pawn in a much bigger game, called the Lok Sabha elections? Whatever it is, anyone would hate to be in the situation in which Arvind Kejriwal & his team are right now.

So why should AAP really for the government by considering AAP's offer? Maybe Yes for the following reasons:

1) The Congress, if it lets AAP win the vote of majority in parliament, will not be able to withdraw support for 6 months. That means AAP will have 6 complete months at the very least to show it's model of governance. Had it been the BJP or Congress, even 6 years would not have been enough. But AAP really can make the difference here. If within 1 year they can spring into existence and win 28 seats, imagine what they will do in 6 months when given power.

2) If in 6 months it is able to bring about sweeping changes, which surely it will considering it wants to build it's base for national politics, then probably it will mean the end of Congress. BJP will survive because of the NaMo factor, but for Congress, RIP.

3) Why would Congress hammer a nail into it's own coffin then? If it can not withdraw support till 6 months, what really does it want to show? This is a mystery that only the Congress can solve. No wonder politics was not for the Aam Aadmi till now.

4) The Congress is ready to offer support on 2 main issues, one being the Jan Lokpal. If it is ready to pass Jan Lokpal, then AAP can easily initiate investigations against Shiela Dikshit and her ex-government. This really can be an example for the other state governments who have never initiated a probe into the wrongdoings of the previous governments.

5) We all know Anil Kapoor's famous movie 'Nayak' in which he is sworn as the CM for a day, and how he manages to bring about sweeping changes because he had the will to do so. Can Arvind Kejriwal be the real life 'Nayak'? Probably yes, he can. He can be a dynamic, aggressive CM and show the public how politicians should behave, always as representatives of the people.

6) Can AAP implement it's 18 points if one month later Congress refuses to co-operate? Yes, as most of them are administrative decisions which will be decided by the cabinet. What will be challenging is that most of the promises can not be fulfilled within 6 months. But yes, they can always start the ground work, and even if they are not able to fulfill these promises in 6 months, the mere 'intent' to do so (which has hardly been seen in any political party till now) might help them garner more support.

7) Their model of Swaraj is unique for Delhi, and if they can implement this in even 28 constituencies for 6 months, they might show the nation that MLA's are not rulers, but they are public servants who should be readily available for them. MLA's should not be approached, infact your MLA should approach you for issues.

8) Even if they are not able to deliver their major promises, their involvement with the public can be a real boost for them if elections are held even after 6 months.

9) If the Congress or BJP try to stop a bill which concerns the citizens, they can hold public meetings, also known as Jansabha's in the AAP lingo, and educate the people how the Congress and BJP are stopping something that should be passed. This has never been done by any government and if they are able to do it, they would never ever have to form a coalition government again.

10) In case of major issues, involving the so-called media can always be an option. Chief Ministers and leaders are generally not seen on TV after the elections, but this can be one example of how one should not run away from responsibility and accountability after winning the elections.

11) If the level of corruption is reduced in Delhi within 6 months, say by just 20%, I wonder why the rest of the country would not want to support AAP.

12) More importantly, they will prove that they are NOT running away from responsibility something that the BJP has been accusing them of.

13) People were against Kejriwal splitting with Anna and forming a party. But eventually everyone accepted the reality and started supporting AAP. Everyone later realized that it was a good decision, and yes, probably they will prove this again by being honest and nationalist.

14) Even if the other MLA's are not willing to start the new model of governance, or shun their VIP culture, the MLA's of AAP can really set the precedent for the rest of the country. They might force the other parties to follow their footsteps, just the way they did before the elections.

But why should they not form the government? Things do seem to be very pleasant if they form the government, but they will have to face some of the worst criticism as well.

1) Their core ideology of NOT joining hands with any political party will be compromised, and that really will be a blow to their supporters. A party that was formed against the Congress should not join hands with it. Their dream of changing Delhi will get murdered, and they may not get another chance from the public to do so, but probably their ideology is what sets them apart. If the BJP has never compromised it's ideology by joining the Congress, then why should AAP do it?

2) A huge volunteer base will leave them for sure. But this can be won back by really showing that it was their passion to serve the people that made them compromise their ideals. Probably the loss can be compensated by showing ground work, but what if they fail at both? AAP will be finished.

3) The BJP trolls will bug them to death by calling them the B-Team of Congress. For the ones who stood against their friends against this allegation, it will mean extreme humiliation. The BJP will prove it's point again that AAP is the B-Team of Congress.
Yes, if they don't form the government, the BJP still has the previous point 12 to shout in the media- 'senseless to the core' BJP.

4) If re-elections are held, people might support the fact that they stood by their principles and did not sell them even after being forced to death by the Congress and BJP. But then again, the BJP and Congress will scream that AAP did not form the government since it can not fulfill it's promises.

5) If re-elections are held, people might not vote again because according to some people, they have been 'betrayed' by AAP. Amusingly, BJP being the single largest party is not being accused of betrayal, but yes, it's AAP's fault again. But wouldn't sitting in the opposition be a better option considering that joining hands with the 'destroyers of India' will ruin their 'clean' image forever?

6) The government may not last for more than 6 months, and most of AAP's promises may not be able to reach the done state. For the common Indian who has been betrayed by a million manifestos, won't this be another failure and a murder of all hopes?

7) The BJP and Congress will do everything possible to pull down AAP and ruin it's initiatives and pave the way for a spectacular failure, something they have been hoping for the last 1 year.

While forming the government and running it with perfection with minimum interference from the Congress and BJP seems the best decision right now, any mistake would sweep AAP away from the map of India. Whatever the decision, I hope it helps us construct a better India, even if it means AAP's failure.

As for the BJP and Congress pulling down AAP, these 'losers' never will never do anything for the country. One was in power for 15 years in Delhi, while the other has the corrupt, inefficient MCD under it's control and talks about good governance in Delhi. They say that this is not a reality show that people should send an SMS to tell them what should be done. But my poor uneducated politicians, I hope you will understand that voting for Big Boss by texting is not as important as voting for a better India. Sadly, you people have never understood the need of getting opinion from the public, because for all of you, politics is nothing but a 'scripted reality show'.
Well, I can only laugh at the Congress and the BJP because they are both the same, even though on their paid media channels, they act 'differently'.

The stage is set. No one had ever predicted that such a dram would unfold after the Delhi elections, yes Drama because some of the news channels and political parties think it really is "drama". And yes, like always, it is AAP which is the reason for this drama. It is good infact, people now have a party to put all the blame on. But is it possible to not get carried away by media reports and for once think what exactly is AAP trying to achieve here? The common Indian citizens are not used to such absurd politics, they are more comfortable with poor governance, fight to be the CM, fight to get in power, unstable coalitions, passing the buck after the failure of government etc etc. Where and why did this issue-based politics enter India?! No, please AAP, do not change us, change yourself, your ideology does not suit us Indians.

But lets really see why they are wrong, if they really are. Yes, to start with, as Mr. Arvinder Singh Lovely said, some of the decisions are administrative and will not require any support from the opposition, so we will try not to discuss them. Before u start, please switch off Zee News and Aajtak while reading this.

1) "Ending VIP culture in Delhi"
Is ending this VIP culture wrong? No sir, we are used to seeing our MLA's with full security, they have been threatened by Pakistan and if any common citizen approaches him with any problem, he might blow up our poor MLA. And for their kids, let them use the government cars with red beacons, it adds to their status. Let their kids and family members run over people sleeping on footpaths, after all the MLA can not do anything about people sleeping on footpaths, so it's better that his kids run over them and end the problem.

But why has AAP put this as a condition? Because 32 BJP and 8 Congress MLAs will shout, scream, cry and do everything possible to stop any such move by a government formed by AAP. They will show how important security is, and then there will be intervention by the central government, because the Delhi police is under it. So in the end, the Central government will eventually stop any such move because AAP will have no control over the police. The BJP-Congress MLA's get security, everyone is happy, the public is fooled again.

2) "Passing the Jan Lokpal Bill"
Clearly, a majority is needed in the Delhi Assembly for this. If AAP does propose the bill in the Delhi assembly, it seems that BJP and Congress will pass it easily, for they have been honest every time. Right? I'm surprised, if AAP wants the original form of the JLP to be passed in Delhi, and since it is going to form the government for say 5 years, then it should be scared, not the BJP and Congress!

Or is Congress scared of the scams it committed during the last 15 years? I thought the support was unconditional, then why suddenly they seem to be reluctant on this issue?

If they were supporting AAP, were they not supporting their ideology and the issues in their manifesto? Then what exactly were they supporting if they don't support their policies?

Is the Congress not fooling the public by offering support to a government which they themselves feel is not good? But wait, AAP is wrong, because it is declining support which they never asked for.

3) "Swaraj in Delhi"
The core ideology of AAP. What is swaraj? In simple words, your MLA will not make policies sitting in his office. He will have to come out, sit with you, ask for problems, assign funds in front of you, and after the work has been done, take your feedback on it. Too good it seems, impossible as well. The BJP and Congress are not used to such transparency, please do not disturb their traditional way of working. And we as the citizens of a so called booming India should support the BJP and Congress. AAP MLA's will waste my time, no sir, keep your rule to yourself. BJP and Congress will not implement Swaraj, let AAP do what it wants.

4) "Delhi should get full statehood"
Interesting, because this is an issue that concerns the Central Government. But wasn't the letter sent to Sonia Gandhi and Rajnath Singh, the two main forces at the Centre? Did Arvind ask Delhi MLAs for statehood? No. He asked the ones at the centre to make their stand clear. Yes or No, that is what he wants to know.

But why do they want Delhi to be a state? Because the two main administrative departments, namely the Delhi police and the Delhi Development Authority come under the Central government. That means even though Delhi has a government, it only has partial control in Delhi's planning and No control over the police.

But yes, instead of statehood, they could have asked for control over these two major departments and some others as well, creating new states is just a waste of time and maybe this can still be negotiated.

5) "Audit of Electricity firms"
Administrative decision according to me, but probably a warning to the Congress MLA's that you are going to get screwed, do not backtrack once the audit has started.

Mr. Arvinder Singh Lovely pointed out yesterday that once a government is able to prove it's majority, then a "No-confidence" motion can not be proposed for 6 months. But will the support till the government is formed? Who can forget the Vajpayee government that lasted for less than 20 days in 1996, after the BSP initially said it will support the BJP and voted agaonst it when asked to prove majority.

If the BJP was betrayed at the 11th hour, can any party still be trusted?

6)Coming to the "administrative" issues raised by AAP. But why have the "Correction of  Electricity meters"
Administrative, no party can disagree on this after the government has been formed. Should have been excluded.

7) "Delhi's water problems"

Fear? Inexperience? Immaturity? What is wrong with AAP after the elections?

6, 16-21 and a of maximum 22. If you followed the Delhi elections closely on TV, these number swill sound familiar to you. No news channel, no political pundit, no so-called journalists were ready to accept that AAP could get more than 20 seats. But sadly for them, after the elections they have been forced to show the positives of AAP even though they hate doing this.

But seriously, what is wrong with AAP? Why aren't they forming the government? Mr. Jaitley is daring AAP, Congress is ready to offer support, one of the Independent candidates is dying to give unconditional support to AAP, and they themselves have 28 seats! Strange it seems, and as Ms. Kiran Bedi says, shouldn't both the BJP and AAP work for the nation together? Umm.. Or is there a catch here? Let's see!

1) The Indian constitution says that the governer is supposed to invite the 'single largest party' to form the government. So which is greater, 32 or 28? So who should first form the government? AAP or BJP?

2) If BJP being the single largest party says it can not form the government, how can AAP do it? Isn't this common sense? Is Mr. Jaitley so dumb? Mr. Jaitley, how has politics changed so drastically? Is the single largest party so scared to form the government?

Had it been any other state, I'm sure you would've traded MLA's by opening bags worth crores in front of them. So why this sudden change of attitude?

Has the 1 year old party forced you to change?

3) So Mr. Jaitley asks AAP to take support from Congress to form the government. Mr. Jaitley, are you pretending to be over-smart, or are you really so dumb? The party that was formed against the Congress and BJP should take support from Congress or give support to BJP?

For a moment, I'm sure you can consider taking support from Congress. But for AAP, this is impossible. They would rather sit in the opposition and make sure that BJP fulfills its promises.
Or maybe, the opposition in the form of AAP itself is so scary, so who would want to form the government! Correct?

4) According to the BJP, if AAP takes support from Congress, it will calmly sit in the opposition and let AAP run the government for 5 years. Even a new born would laugh at this proposal. Why doesn't the BJP take support from Congress? After all BJP was one of the first to support Congress against the RTI bill bringing the National Parties under its ambit, and also one of the first to support Congress' Anti-Jan Lokpal stand.

You were a good friend to Congress in times of crisis, please ask the Congress to return some of the favors by giving you support. :)

5) Does the BJP think that AAP is so immature? Isn't it very obvious that within 2-3 months you would propose the 'No-confidence Motion' against AAP and bring down the government? The BJP being in majority would easily win it with the support from Congress, hence killing the government!

That way you will show how the 'super-smart' BJP gave AAP a chance to form the government and even then AAP could not deliver anything within 3 months.

Sadly, I'm sure some Indians will believe this game. But this time, sadly for you, majority of us are aware of this cheap stunt that is a part of your plan on 'How to kill AAP', authored by the Congress, BJP and Indian Media.

5) But wait, why isn't the BJP indulging in 'Horse-trading' or buying MLA's from other parties for support? Had it been the BSP or SP or some other regional party instead of AAP, the BJP would have offered stacks of cash, cabinet posts and so much more to poach MLA's and gain support.
So please admit it BJP, if AAP says something, it has become your habit of repeating it.

If AAP had said "Yes, we will form the government", every single person in BJP would've made sure that BJP formed the government. But now since AAP has shown how idealistic it is, you just can not dare to 'buy' MLAs, something you are an expert at.

For god's sake, be original, stop copying AAP. :)

6) Ms. Kiran Bedi says something again. With a lot of respect for you Ms. Bedi, I'm shocked at your inclination towards the BJP. How could you forget that this is the same BJP that once played with the coffins of soldiers, mobilized the religious sentiments of Indian and divided the country forever, just like it's counterpart.
Now if one says that BJP is still better than Congress, shouldn't we die of shame for comparing two thieves and coming up with an answer? Arjun Munda, BS Yeddyurappa, is the BJP any better?

Thank you for your concern Ms. Bedi, but please stay out of this for now. Let AAP come in majority and then we will show you what politics is.

7) AAP, by not forming the government, is running away from fulfilling the promises in it's manifesto. Really? By forming an unstable government with an even more unstable opposition, do you expect AAP to fulfill it's promises? The BJP and Congress will threaten to withdraw support every day, is that how AAP will deliver it's promises that require a lot of support and determination?
BJP and Congress, please for once, think about India.

8) Before the elections, Mr. Gadkari called AAP a 'Chillad Party'. I'm surprised that this 'Chillad Party' has given you such a headache, that more than enjoying the victory in 3 states, your party members are busy shouting and screaming on TV shows against AAP and how stubborn it is.

9) An old allegation. Is AAP being arrogant? Yes, if sticking to your ideals is called arrogance, then YES THEY ARE ARROGANT. They will not trade away their honesty, they will not betray the common people who supported them by donating their hard-earned money, they will not go against their conscience because they have given everyone hope.

10) What difference does it make if they take support? AAP would get murdered in Delhi itself. The country would never get another alternative, for everyone would assume that they would join either the BJP or Congress to form the government. Is that really an alternative to the Congress and BJP? In short, it will become a 'vote-cutting' party.

11) The cost of re-elections is sheer wastage of tax-payers money? The Delhi elections did not cost the Election Commission more than 50-100 crores (Maximum upper limit, since the All-India general elections in 2009 cost the EC only Rs.1120 crores). The budget of the Delhi government is somewhere close to 28000 crores per year. Assuming only 1% corruption (280 crores), the cost of elections is wayyyy less than the corruption in Delhi. Still think elections are costly? Then rethink on the money that will be lost in scams during the next 5 years.

Fear is what you see in the eyes of BJP when confronted by an AAP member, inexperience is how they have handled AAP for they have never had an opposition which smiles when abused and never gets intimidated.

AAP has always set high standards for itself, and this situation is what one would call an 'Agni-Pareeksha'. They have stuck to their ideology which not a single Indian party has ever been able to do. It is time to support them and not question their motives, for they have answered their critics every time, in the best possible way.
Instead, let us make sure that AAP does not get lured into forming a minority government, for it may kill a million aspirations, not just in Delhi, but all-over India, for this is the awakening of the Aam Aadmi.

27 Ways that prove you are Indian driver: Rate yourself!

No matter who we are, how civilized we act, which strata of the society we belong to, or how educated we might be, our real Indianism is reflected in the way we drive. Scooter, auto, car, truck, tractor, bike or even a cycle, there is something unique about us Indians that makes the world think we are crazy. So what makes us different, or are we just an exaggerated race that perhaps is the only one which knows how to drive? Umm, lets see what makes us so unique..!

Rate yourself on this scale of 27!

1) The fault is never mine. 'Saale ko chalaani ni aati', 'Abey kaise chala raha hai ye' is the best way to show that you are perhaps the only good driver on road.

2) The other person is always a fool, even though you were the one overtaking from left when the entire right lane was empty. "Abey saale side mein chala!"

3) Pedestrians are meant to be harassed by us, and yet when we walk and someone else harasses us, we %^#&@^*&^ him.

Yes, this is how it works. When I'm on the wheels, I will be the next Salman Khan trying to mow down people but when I'm walking, I'll be the one to scream 'Abey mere pe chadhayega kya?!', even if it is just a cycle.

4) Zebra is the most disrespected animal on the roads in India. Zebra crossing is a myth, there is nothing like that, and if it does exist, we make sure we stand on it.


5) If you try stopping behind the zebra crossing, the whole world will honk behind you and the person sitting next to you will ask 'Abey itni peeche kyu rok di? Aage le!'.



And in some cases, the car behind will not anticipate that someone can stop behind the zebra crossing, and like my poor friend's new i20, your car will get banged from behind. Poor zebra, India is the worst place to become a crossing!


6) Pressing the horn as soon as the signal turns green. Will the cars in front start flying if you start honking? Yes, they will. Never understood the logic, and lets not even try.


7) Turn without giving any indicator. Well indicators are meant for oldies, the 'cool dudes' don't want to be predictable. Let's just turn, and it's upto others to save everyone. ;)

8) Did you see an indicator blinking? DO NOT trust the driver. If he really want's to inform you about his turn, he will take out his hand and signal it. Don't be surprised if the indicator says left, and the hand says right. It's pretty normal.


9) Adventure is when you have to turn right, but you opt for the left-most lane, and then turn right. Add to the fun, stare accusingly at the person who tried to stop you from turning. Still not satisfied? Abuse him.

*Bliss*

Important: Please do not turn your indicator on, it will kill the adventure!


10) You love blocking free left turns.

How to do it? Choose an intersection where the left turn is free but you have to go straight. What next? Pretend that you are in a hurry and just block the road turning left. Now just enjoy the continuous honking, music to anyone's ears.
Don't think about the people who are waiting to turn left, your time is more precious, they are just idiots. ;)

11) Jumping red lights, almost every fucking time! The signal is still red and you don't see any traffic coming? Come on, why do you want to waste time! "Abey nikaal le,koi nahi dekh raha" ;)

12) The traffic police is just retarded. Why do they want to control traffic?

Jump signals, break rules, but make sure you have a valid accidental insurance that covers you completely. For example, a leg broken into 3 pieces along with broken rib bones should be covered.

13) Tripling on bikes/scooters, because you want my friends to give you company everyyyywhere including arguing with cops for breaking rules and in some cases, hospital.

14) Lane discpline? What the fuxk is that? In fact, what are lanes? You don't see any! You will zip zap zooooom between vehicles.

15) The u-turn is 20m ahead. So what? You will save this distance and go in the wrong direction. FTW. Like a boss.

16) You can not resist driving on the footpath when your bike is stuck in a jam! After all, footpaths are official bike lanes.

17) "Abey yahin laga de, dekhi jayegi" Parking in No parking areas is the way to live. The boards are at the wrong place, not your car! ;)

Andddd parking on the road instead of parking lots, congrats, you save 10 bucks every single time! Traffic jam because of your car? Not at all.

18) "Abey horn baja na" is the most frequently used sentence in cars. If your friend's and family don't use it, then you need to change your friends and umm.. family as well!

Play Yo Yo Honey Singh loudly in your own car, and never listen to anyone's horn. That's how one should drive! Then, does anyone listen to your horn except the poor bikers?


19) Riding without helmet, because your hairstyle is more important than your skull! And so what if your skull cracks, Lord Shiv replaced his Ganesha's with an elephant's! Your dad can do the same. Super dad. He loves you.

20) If you're not the one in point 16, then you're definitely the one in point 17! Wearing helmet without buckling, because the helmet will stick to your head when you fall! :D Fevicol ka jod hai, buckle to latkaane ke liye diya hai.


21) Driving behind a bus and then honking when it stops at the bus stop. Disturbing already struggling people sitting in the bus gives you pleasure.

22) If you are a biker, then point 21 is not where you stop. You overtake the bus from the left. People boarding the bus should give way to you and then board the bus. But beware, people getting off the bus might end up jumping on your bike if you're too fast!

23) Side rear view mirrors? Lol.

24) If you're a man, you can not resist commenting when you see a women driving a car. Something like.. "Bail gaadi chala rahi hai kya?!", "Arey madam chalaani nahi aati toh chalaate kyu ho!", "Abey aunty se bach ke reh, udaa degi"

25) Even when you were learning how to drive, you never displayed the "L" sign on your vehicle.

26) No matter how much you try, you will always have at least one document related to your vehicle missing, unless your parents own that responsibility. Pollution check, insurance, RC, license.. just too many!

27) And the last one. You never wear the seat belt. Too common. It suffocates you.